WHAT's that cat??

9/10/08

Somebody stole my shoes, so I'll amputate my legs.

"This isn't the first time a boss has picked an unqualified woman just because she agrees with him and opposes everything most other women want and need. Feminism has never been about getting a job for one woman. It's about making life more fair for women everywhere."

-Gloria Steinem. Read the whole article in the LA Times while listening to 9 to 5 and anything by Heart, who told the McCain people to stop using Barracuda for Palin's theme song.

8/17/08

Photoshop Snaps

Your mama's so fat, I tried to load a picture of her in save for web and it said I had insufficient memory!

Your face is so bumpy it looks like you were interpolated with nearest-neighbor as opposed to bicubic or bilinear interpolation!

You're so ruddy, I couldn't see your image clearly enough in quickmask mode to
make a selection!

7/30/08

Your Welcome.

"Your welcome. Us Newsies fans have to help each other when we forget Newsies stuff."

Above quote is that of a commenter on the youtube page for a fan-created montage from the 1991 Film "Newsies." And here is the 1st part of Blood Drips on Newsies Square, a 30 minute horror movie made by Newsies actors on set. I can't tell if its funny or what, I'm too distracted by the 90's haircuts.

7/20/08

This is Why Stevie's Rouge Was Asymmetrical That Day

I know its on a million blogs already but I just love it so much.

The Painted Whore of Babylon

I used to have this friend who, on a day when she was wearing a bit too much makeup, called herself out by declaring that she looked "Like the painted whore of Babylon." I appreciate this phrase for it's dramatic quality, fitting to it's subject. The hues in springs fluorescent shades excited a b**** so much that there was tendency to pile it on. Needless to say, it's the wrong look for the beach. Of my grandparent's cottage on the lake. In New Hampshire. My protest of summer never ending will nevertheless take the form of wearing rainbow makeup well into September. If you want to follow my lead without looking like Roy G. Biv himself, read this helpful little piece by my favorite beauty columnist, Bethan Cole (A.K.A. The Sybarite).

Also do it thrift with Ben Nye Stage Makeup (available at Ricky's or here), instead of dropping $40 on some NARS palettes you are realistically only going to use a few times. Per week. On that note, I highly recommend you download the Ben Nye PDF catalog for helpful tips on how to do great fake tattoos, make yourself look like an old-timey southern belle from Hello Dolly, and other incredible feats of illusion (harlequin body paint, anyone?). Think of it as your starter kit for becoming Amy Sedaris. I did. I leave you with this:

7/1/08

Mugabe Serum

Last night I had a dream that I was walking in Marc Jacob's Spring 2009 show (this is the second dream I've had where I've been in one of his shows, the first dream I only got to wear one look though), and I noticed there were several stations where all the models were supposed to do their own makeup for the basic stuff like base and mascara. It was like an assembly line, the first was remover and some sort of anti-wrinkle serum. I noticed the brand on the bottle said "Mugabe." Marc was there and he was arguing with someone, yelling at this man that his people were a colony. I then realized that the man he was arguing with was Robert Mugabe, the President of Zimbabwe. I thought "Jeez, why is he here?" But then I remembered the brand on the bottle of serum. "Oh, he must be a sponser." The serum worked really well.

6/27/08

It's Red

You: Is this orange?

Me: It's red.

You (taking off your deep red sunglasses and holding them against the fabric): No, it's not red. These [sunglasses] are red, so it can't be red.

Me (way too sweetly): Oh! Well it's red! The product came in listed as red and also I'm looking at it now and, yep, it's red!