Lori I didn't forget you.

I'm drafting a post about glitter eye makeup options for you greasy-glowy girls, and I promise it will be rule. But I saw this on Jezebel and I had to throw this up: So according to Shopping.com the most popular pop-culture costume idea was a Jail-Bird Paris Hilton. Wee-he-hellll I happen know a girl in L.A. that works at a fancy lingerie store and apparently Paris came in and bought a jailbird-themed lingerie ensemble "for Halloween". I guess so that everyone would be like "Oh of course!" when they see her. Seriously why so predictable? Maybe she saw the poll. But know that it will be lingerie with some accents to designate it as a "costume," A la Mean Girls.

Blue Nails and Glitter Makeup: Why Am I 12?

Oh man! It's been awhile. I have left my dozens of readers bewildered and wandering the isles of Ulta III wondering what is the new thinking woman's nail polish for fall (It's navy blue, btw. Try Russian Navy by Opi) Busy with daily grad school application freakouts, and ofcourse, Topmodel Cycle 9 amazingtown. I, like Rich of the afore-linked fourfour, love Heather to peices. I'm so excited that reality TV is getting the representation of Asbergers People it has always needed. You have Heather, and basically half the contestants of The Pick-up Artist. Especially Scott. God I love and miss Scott!Especially how he was always waking up at 6 to go over his notes from Mystery. So logical! And fuzzy! Fuzzy-logical! Anyway, Heather has already won my heart and I can't wait to tune in tonight to see the first real photoshoots that will look like they are Sketchers ads from 3 years ago and utterly arbitrary challenges.

Anyway! I have 1 tip for you- Anna Sui, with her nasty ass, showed glitter makeup in her spring runway show. In case anyone wants to wear glitter in a un-halloweeny frightfest prior to Oct. 31, here's how I'd do it. Pick a cream shadow with some intense shimmer in it. The one I use you can only buy in the UK now for some reason, so just go to the store and look for one you like. It should be a cream or liquid in a neutral shade that goes with your skin and has major shimmer but not a ton of actual giant glitter chunks. Now here is the key: Put that shit on first! Before concealer or whatever. Smear it all over your eye, lash to brow and all over under the eye too. Now, wash your hands so you don't get the glitter everywhere whilst putting on the rest of your face. Follow with your foundation, applying it over the glittered areas but wiping off your hands or applicator often as you apply. Follow with mascara and rouge and gloss or some subtle lipcolor. Last, take a Kleenex or piece of cloth and blot yover all the glitter areas. This will polish the tiny pieces of glitter and make them really sparkle.

The Straight Story

One reason I never write about fashion here is because it's supposed to be a beauty blog, and if I started writing about fashion it would be a slippery slope into a giant can of worms. So I write about it in IM chats with Emily, and she is like really lazy so she just posts our conversations on Gawker instead of actually writing stuff.* Since Gawker is so big and important and can't include the entire lengthy messy thing, and I am so tiny and insignificant, I give you the directors cut of the chat finale. Just so you can see the Miss Piggy reference. Seriously am I nuts or did Marc Jacobs and Miss Piggy not do something together already?



*I kid about the lazy!

Sometimes I Make Things on Computer

It's just that his video sincerely brought me so much joy. He demonstrates such amazing, um, candor? And devotion, and he really has some good points to boot! Yay. I thought I saw a niche for a fragrance in there. Enjoy.

Fashion Week is Beneath Me Now

There is this point in every blog where the writer goes off-topic, and just starts ranting about their personal life. This is what blogging is famous for, this is the schizophrenia of the TMIA (Too Much Information Age). This is what we are about to go through here at Cheek, ladies and gents, because holding it all in is really bad for your complexion (Also, acknowledging fashion week: Bad for skin).

So, I've been trying to find out how much it costs to take the GRE and I'm comically bad at it. Like, I think I may have found the thing in the world I'm most bad at and it's navigating academic bureaucracies on the interweb. It fills me with a desperate fear and I start sweating and want to cry. I think this is why I have not been very gung-ho on the idea of applying for grad schools, cuz every time I go online to do any research I'm immediately repulsed and I feel like I'm illiterate. And I am sure that I'm the only person on earth with this problem. Im sure. Here is a list of things I'm better at than finding out about the GRE:

Making delicious cheese sauces
Telling stories
Petting cats, making cats like me
Spilling things
Putting makeup on myself/ others
Karaoke

So- if anyone needs a cheese sauce or some sound cat advice, and Emily is busy, or maybe you need your makeup done, come help me decide when to take the GRE!